One of the most beneficial forms of counselling is couples counselling yet many people feel that to seek counselling in what is a normal relationship, means that they are failing at being a couple. The exact opposite is actually true. When we become a couple we are merging together two different belief systems, two different backgrounds and two different ideals of what a couple should be. Unless there is some in depth discussion of how those things will be meshed together it can often end up with cracks starting to show in the relationship once the honeymoon period is over and reality starts to set in.
Couples often find they are doing just fine and then they add a child to the mix. While the birth of a child is something to be treasured, it also brings with it an enormous amount of stress and can create a level of conflict between a couple as both parents attempt to settle into their new roles as parents and as a couple. All of a sudden the woman in the relationship is exhausted and the man in the relationship is feeling like he is no longer the centre of her world. If you are not strong communicators these factors can become major issues in your relationship and over time will become big cracks that may not be able to be fixed. If you seek couples counselling before the birth of the baby and work through all the changes that are going to occur to each of you and to your relationship, you are giving yourselves the best possible chance of surviving the first six months of your child’s life without resenting each other and damaging your relationship
Of course having a child is not the only reason couples should seek counselling but it is often one of the biggest areas of conflict. Other reasons couples may seek counselling are job loss, financial issues, sexual disparity, feeling intimidated, communication stalemate or any one of the dozens of things that have an impact on busy couples in our modern world.
It is important when deciding on a counsellor that you try to find someone that has either been recommended to you or who has a good reputation in your area and that you feel comfortable with at first contact. If you feel uncomfortable at the point of the first phone call then chances are you won’t be able to get the most out of your sessions. Trust your gut instinct when choosing a counsellor and ensure that both partners needs will be met by the counsellor you choose.
At Innate Therapies we offer couples counselling either via Skype or in person at our Cairns rooms.