Understanding the language of little people
Before children can fully express themselves with words, they often communicate through play and it’s far more meaningful than it might seem at first glance. Every block they stack, every doll they dress, and every pretend meal they cook is part of how they process and make sense of their world.
“Play is the language, and toys are the words.”
-Garry Landreth
Here are five ways young children use play to tell us what’s going on in their minds and hearts, long before they can explain it out loud.
1. Role-Playing Everyday Life
When children play mums and dads, school, or doctors, they’re not just being cute, they’re exploring their rules, roles, and emotions of everyday life.
You might notice:
- A child pretending to be the teacher might be replaying a recent school experience
- A doll being scolded might reflect something the child recently experienced
- Repetitive routines like feeding a baby over and over can show a need for control or comfort
What it tells us:
They’re working through their experiences, trying to understand relationships, rules, and feelings.
2. Big Themes in Small Worlds
Children often act out scary, exciting, or confusing things using toys. Dinosaurs fighting, a storm hitting Lego town, or animals getting lost and found for example.
Even if the play looks chaotic or dramatic, it might be their way of exploring:
- Fears (of separation, change, or danger)
- Power (being the boss of something when they can’t be in control elsewhere)
- Safety (creating rescue endings for scary stories)
What it tells us:
They’re trying to make sense of big feelings or events in a safe, manageable way.
3. Using Art to Say What Words Can’t
Drawing, painting or building is a powerful outlet, especially for kids who aren’t verbal yet or who don’t feel confident saying how they feel.
Even simple scribbles or colour choices can reflect:
- Mood (e.g. dark colours or repetitive lines might show tension)
- Self-image (e.g. drawing themselves very small or very big)
- What’s important to them (look for recurring people, pets, or places)
What it tells us:
Art gives clues about how they see the world, and themselves, without needing a single word.
4. Repetitive Play Patterns
Does your child line things up, sort by colour, or build the same tower over and over? It might seem random, but it often signals:
- A need for predictability
- Processing anxiety
- A sense of safety in structure
What it tells us:
Repetitive play can be calming. It helps kids feel in control when other parts of life feel uncertain.
5. Mirroring What They’ve Seen or Felt
Sometimes children play out things that have happened at home, school, or elsewhere. Almost like emotional “replays.” This might include:
- A favourite toy getting left behind
- Characters arguing or making up
- A parent figure being sick or going away
What it tells us:
They’re trying to understand, express, and eventually rewrite their experiences, especially if something felt confusing or upsetting at the time.
At Innate Therapies, We Listen to the Play
In our play therapy sessions, we’re not just watching kids play, we’re tuning in. Every game, drawing, or story is a window into their world.
Sometimes, when words fall short, play says it all.
